Sometimes its playing the game we enjoy, not the prize

the Christmas season always reminds me that the excitement of Christmas day is really what makes the season so exciting.  I think what most of people don't realize is that it is the pursuit of happiness that is really the fun part of living.  it is very often that people want something or have a goal.  once they get this thing, or go to this place, or get with a certain person - the excitement fades away slowly.  this is because all material things, no matter what they are, do not bring happiness.  the pursuit is what drives us and motivates us.  i think that when you realize this concept of materialism, you will be much happier.  appreciate what you have, look for the things that can make your life better - but don't think it brings happiness.  happiness comes from within by being true to your self.  knowing who you are and being happy with yourself will bring happiness.  i can always tell when people are truly happy because they seem uninhibited and child-like.  over time, we lose the child within and "grow up."  it is the growing up part that limits us and muddies the water to true happiness.  i try to focus on learning new things, doing things that i enjoy, and appreciating the good things (and people) that i have in my life.  i think that is a good way to start each day!
 

i woke up today depressed

today i woke up feeling depressed.  of course it is not the first time i just did not feel like getting up and playing the game of life - these things happen.  i felt tired, defeated and just want to go back to  bed.  work, money, people, things just get on my nerves and i don’t even want to do it today.  
i am sure that everyone gets bummed sometimes.  surely i am not the only one.  there are some things, though, that make me feel better.  I know that emotions sometimes run in cycles.  i may be sad today or bummed out, but that will change.  pretty soon i will turn my melancholy mood into being motivated again and ready to beat the odds.  the next step will be to come up with some plans and affirmations to get things going my way.  i recently read an article where a fan of Brad Pitt publicly told him at a movie premier that he was considering committing suicide.  Brad Pitt told him that life has its ups and downs and that it is cyclical.  when you are up, you’re up and when you’re down, you’re down.  i thought this was pretty cool because Brad Pitt basically threw a “all things will pass” out at a very good time.  good for him.
I have come to realize that when you go against your true nature, you are unhappy.  when you try to be a certain type of person because you think others will like you, you will be unhappy.  when you try to pretend you like something or somebody, you will be unhappy.  i found out that you need to be yourself, and in order to do that, you have to accept yourself.  once i started to do that (despite what other people think) things started to get better.  i would still like to be rich and not work.  i also would like to live on a beach and sit by the sea all day long - but for now i will just be true to myself and things will be a little better.  

being depressed is like having an ache sometimes.  it takes a long time to go away, and you are always thinking of it.  once your focus changes, you can look towards a more positive outlook

The Lotus Flower - symbolism to aspire to

I recently learned about the Lotus Flower and the symbolism that it carries.  The Lotus Flower grows from the mud, rising above the water and flowering beautifully above it.  It represents absolute purity in that it grows up from the dark watery mire and yet remains untainted and unstained.  The following info is from Vagabondjourney.com -

"The lotus blossoms achieve unblemished beauty after their birth in the muck of earthly platitude. They open and close in perfect harmony with the ebb and flow of the sun. Its base sits flush upon the water; gently rocking with the tidings and ripples. In these ways the flower represents effortlessness, direction, and the attainment of beauty. It is a perfect metaphor from which to view the grand unity of all existence, a graceful acceptance of worldly processes"

I find this image aspiring because unfortunately, I feel like many of us are stained and contaminated by the trials of everyday life.  I consider myself a spiritual person and I like to think that I am trying to achieve some sense of enlightenment and/or knowledge that I can pass on to others.   

I think it is good sometimes to look at things from outside of yourself and start to appreciate all you have and those around you.  One of the Noble Truths of Buddhism states:

"Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases" 

Basically, this says that it is our attachment to things, places and people that cause suffering.   It is hard to let go off all the things we want, "have to have," etc.

But when you think about it, what causes most of our suffering is trying to get things, hold onto things, or not let things go. 

I am not trying to turn you into a Buddhist or anything.  I am just sharing my awareness that this universal truth could help set us free from all the suffering and anxiety we suffer from each day. 

Whining - why nobody wants to hear it

Dictionary.com defines whining in the following way:

"whine

[hwahyn, wahyn] Show IPA verb, whined, whin·ing, noun
verb (used without object)
1.
to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.: The puppies were whining from hunger.
2.
to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way: He is always whining about his problems."

sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? well, let's be honest, we have all done it. it is good to vent a bit and let our emotions out. the trick is to do that with some tact and then let it go. the truth is that no matter how much head-nodding and insincere "oh-mys" and "man, that sucks" you get, the bottom line is that it is not the other person's problem. they may feel sorry for you, understand and emphasize, but only YOU can be a big boy or girl and deal with it.

my life is not perfect. i have ups and downs just like all people do. i complain to my wife sometimes, but she understands that it is just me venting - and we both understand that complaining is good at times to blow off frustration and depression. after that, it is time to get up and do something about it.

i like to use the imagery of a boat that is sailing to another shore... sometimes the winds and the waves try to push the boat off course. you always have to make corrections, but that is just part of life. if i sit on that boat and complain about the "damn wind" or the "damn waves" and do nothing about it, then i will get off course - perhaps running into the rocks or capsizing.

the reason no one wants to hear constant whining is that it is tedious. we are all try to make our lives better and more positive. to listen to someone else is just draining, and most of us sit and listen to it out of courtesy - that's it. again, i like to use the analogy of a kid peeing in a pool you're swimming in. it just ruins the environment around you. you just want to get away from that person.

listen to yourself when you are complaining and pay attention to the reaction of the other person. if on the phone, listen to the "yeahs" and "uh-huhs" to determine if they are really listening. more than likely they are grimacing or rolling their eyes on the other side (at least that is what i would do)

try to pick yourself up and raise your spirits with positive thinking and a "can do" attitude. you must help yourself first! relying on others to fix your problems is not the way to solve your problems.

don't let others pee in your pool, and don't you pee either!

the ego and how it destroys us

Wikipedia defines the id, ego and super-ego as follows:

“According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organised, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role”

I guess I would have to disagree that the ego is always “organized and realistic”.  It seems to get most people in a great deal of trouble.

let’s start off by using a recent example - Anthony Weiner.  I mean, my god!  How does a guy do the things he has done and then lie, avert and avoid the obvious truth that he needs to own up to his actions and do the right thing?

the problem is that the “right thing” will severely bruise his ego.  He is a perfect example of someone who gains power and then abuses it.  Maybe it is none of our business what he does in his personal life - but when it is revealed that he is sexting other woman (he is married, by the way) pictures of his JUNK, well, I guess your ego got the best of you.  It is when your ego inflates to the point of recklessness when these type of things happen.  I bet Mr. Weiner (great name, by the way!) wishes he had not pushed the wrong button on his Blackberry when he tweeted himself to his latest fling.  

the way in which this becomes destructive has been going for as long as time itself.  confidence is a wonderful thing, but it quickly get out of hand.  that is when the ego becomes inflated and overrides the super-ego.  it may not FEEL like the right thing to do, but who cares?

that is what gets most people in trouble.  in the back of your mind, you feel anxious - maybe something will go wrong and you will get caught or tripped up.  that feeling is a sign telling you to dial back.  

of course, a true egoist is totally oblivious to this little voice.  it takes a train wreck like what happened to dear Mr. Weiner to wake them up.  even then, they may still be confused as to “where it all went wrong.”

It is a shame, because let’s face it - most of the time if something happens to us like what happened to Mr. Weiner, we would suffer greatly.  I think he will suffer greatly, but he is being allowed to carry on and make excuses because he is “special.”

We are Infected..

as I was growing up, I read many books on philosophy, religion and culture. Something that Ron Hubbard said really stuck with me, though. Ron Hubbard said something to the effect of “the world has not changed, but you have”. when we are children, we are fascinated with the world around us. we want to learn, explore, and go on adventures. we are seeing new things, trying new things, and full of questions. trees, clouds, and the world around us are very interesting.
but as we grow up, we become infected - infected by all the bad experiences and unpleasant experiences that muddy our waters. we forget how simple life was when we were growing up. unfortunately, these things stay with us, never to return us to a time when the world was a wonderful experience.
the first thing to do, of course, is to realize that this has happened- then address it. you have been programmed to think as an adult, ignoring the very simple pleasures around you. for most of us, the pleasure in life comes from “escaping” reality, rather than enjoying it. even though people may think you are crazy, it IS ok to look up in the sky at the clouds, enjoy the rain, enjoy birds chirping, and enjoy the breeze blowing on your face.
start by doing these things, realizing that you can’t necessarily escape your reality, but you can certainly change it by changing your outlook. yes, you can.