I work with the public, and I work with the same people everday. I am very interested in observing people and trying to figure out what makes them tick. I am a natural-born psychologist that enjoys observing other people (and messing with them sometimes.) I have a few people I work with that are classic examples of martyrs, so I would like to talk about them. I am sure we all work or deal with martyrs everyday (they're everywhere!) I am just going to point out typical behavior and how to deal with them (and maybe poke a little bit at them.)
Wikipedia defines the everyday martyr as having a "complex"
“a person who has a ‘martyr complex’ desires the feeling of being a martyr for its own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it feeds a psychological need.”
great! what makes these type of people insufferable is that you have to listen to their whining, complaining and drama all the time. i work with a guy that is one of the worst. he "does everything" and "always has to take care of things himself." he could really stand to learn a bit about delegation and time-management in my opinion, but as I learned from the bit of research I did, that will NEVER happen. another wonderful tool of the common martyr is GUILT - used quite often to make others feel bad about what they DID NOT DO. the martyr does not even have to say a word - just their "vibe" and their body language talk to you to tell you that you should have/could have done something but you DIDN'T!
what the hell is woring with you, anyways? An important thing to note is that if you know someone like this, don't expect them to change - they won't. they will drive you absolutely crazy if you let them. much of the information I read advises you to give in and make a comment that supports their pitiful whining, like "that must be rough" or "wow, good job taking care of that." I don't thing that is much fun, though. It is like watering a weed. The weed will keep growing no matter what, but damn, why water it as well?
I guess I am cruel but I feel like blowing on the fire sometimes when it comes to these people. I wilil tell you what I do - it's called NOT CARING and NOT GIVING IT ATTENTION! I know that the behavior will continue no matter what I do or how I react, so I choose to not be sucked into the drama. I think a martyr-type person will figure out that you are not going to play along if you simply put the vibe out that you are really not concerned about their trials and tribulations. it works for me - and sometimes it takes a little while for them to catch on, but even bull-headed people can understand when you simply are ignoring them or don't care.
anyways, that is my advice, take it for what its worth. just remember to SWIM AWAY FROM THE LARGE SWIRLING HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WATER OR YOU WILL GET SUCKED IN!
